Seldom a morning person
It’s not unusual to watch me stomp into the office in the morning without saying hi to everyone. If anyone greets me, the best effort I can muster is a mumbled greeting back. However, once I switch on my computer and start clearing emails, letting the work zombify me, I get more lucid and friendly.
The day usually starts off good, because I like starting my day with achievable tasks I’ve planned beforehand. Even a nasty email or two residing in my inbox, waiting to pounce on me, is not enough to dampen my spirits. Very soon, I’m getting breakfast and my daily jug of water, and settling into a comfortable routine.
My mood usually starts souring towards lunchtime. After lunch, it’s just resentment and exhaustion taking over. Autopilot rules over critical thinking and I end the day grumpy and frumpy.
Today, it was different. Starting from last night, where in a fit of anger I embarked on an infosearch that stretched till 1.30am, the day was created to be drastically deviant from the norm. With barely 5 hours of sleep and not enough cash to take a cab to work, I dragged myself out of bed after 4 (!) snoozes, only to be met with a serious jam on the roads.
At work, my computer first freezes before reaching the login page, and next freezes while I try to open my email client. I finally get to fire everything up and start work when 5 minutes later, the screen blanks and my desktop dies. One more restart later, I get at my emails with a fury I’ve never felt. Instant Messages are curtly replied to. My temper flares with each email I read and finally I feel like I’m about to explode.
I didn’t calm down till 11am, a good 2.5hrs after starting work. Things were exceptionally bad, but I could recognise that it was all in my head. It ruled me for a while, I’m ashamed to admit. But this will be the last. Next time, I will recognise it for what it is and attack it head on. No more silent resentment, no more doormat.
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